These are two milestones in one’s life, but they are not synonymous and they actually may be more different than you think. Let’s talk about it – without shame or embarrassment.
Perimenopause and menopause are natural parts of life, yet it’s a conversation that’s rarely talked about – many people reach this stage feeling completely unprepared for the changes that come with it.
From shifting hormones and sleep disruptions to changes in mood, libido, and vaginal comfort, the experience can feel both surprising and overwhelming. The good news? These changes are incredibly common, and there are many ways to support your body through them.
No matter where you are in this journey, the more we understand what happens in our bodies, the easier it becomes to navigate these changes with more confidence, comfort, and self-compassion.
Perimenopause: The Phase No One Warned You About
Perimenopause is the years-long transitional phase leading up to menopause.
Similar to puberty, there is not an exact age when one enters into perimenopause. The average age of starting perimenopause is in one’s 40’s – though some people enter perimenopause as early as their 30’s (early perimenopause) or as late as their mid-50’s.
Some people are in perimenopause for a short time, while others are in it for several years. On average, perimenopause lasts 4-6 years, though it can be shorter or as long as 10 years.
What’s Happening to My Body?
This transitional phase leading up to menopause can begin years before periods actually stop, and it often brings a wide range of physical and emotional changes. If you’ve started noticing some changes – maybe your sleep feels off, your mood shifts more easily, or intimacy feels a little different – you might be entering perimenopause.
Unfortunately, there is no test to confirm one’s perimenopause status. Perimenopause is primarily diagnosed by the combination of symptoms and measured hormonal levels.
Here’s a list of some common symptoms you may experience during perimenopause – though it’s important to remember that this isn’t an exhaustive list, and everyone’s experience can look a little different.
Hormone Changes
One of the key components of perimenopause is the decreased production of hormones from the ovaries, specifically estrogen and progesterone. Over time, these hormones are decreasing, less consistent, and the production can be erratic at times – sometimes spiking while other times plummeting.
Periods
Due to the overall decreased production of hormones, periods also become sporadic and irregular – they may become lighter, heavier, longer, or shorter than what they were before.
However, during this time of hormonal and menstrual fluctuations, it is still possible to get pregnant while in perimenopause.
Once you have at least 60 days pass between periods, you’ve entered late-stage perimenopause, and you are almost at the finish line (yay!).
Other Common Symptoms
Most people associate these symptoms with menopause, but they actually start to occur for those who are experiencing perimenopause. The decreased production of hormones affects more than the menstrual cycle – it is also common to experience other side effects, such as hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness.
eats, and vaginal dryness.
Hot Flashes
The majority of women experience hot flashes and night sweats during this time. Your body starts finding difficulty in regulating your body temperature and tries to cool you down, even when you’re not hot (i.e., night sweats).
Sleep Struggles
The hormone fluctuations interfere with your sleep-wake cycle. Many individuals report insomnia during this time.
Mood Changes
The hormonal changes involved directly affect your mood and emotional regulation. This may cause irritability, depression, anxiety, and mood swings.
Vaginal Changes
Hormones directly affect vaginal tissue, so when there is decreased production of hormones, vaginal dryness is a common symptom. During this time, the vaginal walls become thinner and more prone to irritation – this can cause discomfort, and potentially pain, during penetration. This is when lubrication becomes essential.
Sex Drive
When a woman’s hormones are shifting, it oftentimes decreases her sex drive too. Low or decreased libido is another common symptom that many women experience during this time.
Menopause: Signs Your Body is Entering a New Phase
Once your ovaries stop producing estrogen, they will no longer release any eggs (ovulation), and then no more periods will occur.
Menopause officially starts once you have had 12 consecutive months without a period – a milestone moment that marks the end of a woman’s menstrual cycle. Say goodbye to pads, tampons, and menstrual cups! Many women also feel relieved with no longer having to worry about the chance of pregnancy.
Track your cycles and symptoms, and talk to your doctor to see if you have officially entered your new era of menopause.
The average age of menopause is 51, with a general range of about 45 to 55 years old. Completing menopause before age 40 is called premature menopause. Technically, menopause only lasts for one day. After that, it’s considered post-menopause.
Once you have entered menopause, you no longer experience the erratic hormonal swings that are common for perimenopause, and many of the symptoms experienced previously may subside as the hormones are now consistently low and the body begins to adjust to its new normal.
How CBD Can Help
As hormone levels shift during perimenopause and menopause, many people explore different ways to support their overall well-being. CBD has become a popular addition to many self-care routines, particularly for its association with relaxation and comfort. While research on CBD and menopause is still developing, many individuals find support by incorporating CBD products into their daily routines. Additionally, individuals report that CBD helps them feel more relaxed during times of stress, and oftentimes, creates a sense of calm during this transitional phase.
Disclaimer: CBD products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Embracing What Comes Next
Whether you are experiencing perimenopause symptoms, have entered menopause yourself, or just stopping by to learn more, always remember: knowledge is power.
The Menopause Society – Provides evidence-based research for patients and healthcare providers
Perimenopause and menopause are new chapters that are often dulled by the media and society – and we want to change that. Let’s learn more about this new phase of life, instead of being scared or embarrassed. Now is the time to reclaim your body and redefine pleasure during this new era. Find the time for self-love and self-care by doing what makes you feel like your best self. Rediscover your new self – you’ll be glad you did.
A Note From the Editor
Hi, it’s Jacki here… I’m our CMO and the most “elderly” of the EngErotics team. I’ve been dealing with the Perimenopause Life for longer than the other team members, and it took me a few years to even figure out what was happening in my body and, more importantly, my brain. A big part of this is because no one talks about it.
In television and movies, women of this age are often presented as naggy and miserable and something to be ignored or “fixed”. If you are a partner, friend, or coworker of someone going through this… give them some grace. It is like a dark monster has taken over our brains without any warning whatsoever.
A few times a month, my brain would be overtaken with the most horrible thoughts, about myself, about the people around me that I loved. I am not an external reactor, so the feelings and thoughts just simmered inside for altogether too long. Since discovering these feelings were related to perimenopause, I’ve been able to take charge and figure out other ways to expend this energy and work against these terrible negative thoughts.
Some of these things include:
- Singing angry songs at the top of my lungs.
- Jangly limb dancing.
- Writing out the worst of my thoughts, then balling up the paper and trashing it.
- Gardening (in all definitions of the word.)
- Taking a too-hot bath.
What have you tried that works for you?
Helpful Resources
Let’s Talk Menopause – A non-profit organization that focuses on menopause education and advocacy through policy and healthcare initiatives
Endocrine Society – A global medical organization that specializes in hormones
Black Women’s Health Imperative: Power in the Pause – An inclusive initiative that addresses disparities in menopause care
