LGBTQIA+ is an umbrella term to encompass all non-hetero identities.
Many people believe that the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ stands for Ally. However, the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ actually stands for Asexual – let’s break it down.
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer
Intersex
Asexual
+All other non-hetero sexualities
While it may not be commonly known or portrayed in the media, asexuality is a valid and recognized sexual orientation, and asexual individuals are part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Want to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community? Check out Our Guide to Pride
What asexuality is (and isn’t):
Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of or very little sexual attraction to any gender and/or a person who experiences sexual attraction in a non-normative way.
‘Ace’ is a widely accepted term used for people who identify as asexual.
Asexuality is different from celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity. It is also important to note that, just like all other sexualities, asexuality is not a choice or a medical condition.
Sexual vs Romantic Attraction
There are different types of attraction; more specifically, romantic attraction is distinct and very different from sexual attraction.
Sexual attraction is a physical desire for sexual contact or a sexual relationship with another person, while romantic attraction is a desire for emotional connection, intimacy, companionship, and a deep, loving relationship, which may or may not include physical or sexual components.
You may feel sexual attraction towards someone without feeling a romantic attraction. These independent types of attraction can occur simultaneously, or one can be present without the other. This situation is not exclusive to people who identify as asexual.
For example, someone could experience a strong desire to be emotionally intimate with a person (romantic attraction) but have no desire to have sex with them, or they may want to have sex with someone but not feel any emotional connection or desire for a relationship (a purely sexual attraction). This concept may help you better understand asexuality, as some Aces may feel romantic attraction without feeling any sexual desire.
For a visual representation of sexual vs romantic attraction, check out: The Genderbread Person
Asexuality is a Spectrum
There are different types of asexuality – not to force people into a box, but to provide a greater understanding of asexuality. This is not an extensive list since everyone in the Ace community has their own sexual identity that may not fit in any specific category.
Types of Asexuality:
- Demisexual: Experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
- Gray-asexual: Experiences sexual attraction occasionally or in specific situations
- Lithosexual: Experiences romantic attraction but not sexual attraction.
- Aceflux: Individuals whose sexual attraction fluctuates over time, sometimes experiencing attraction and other times not.
Asexuality is a spectrum, and all Aces fall somewhere along this spectrum. Some people may never experience sexual attraction, while others may experience it rarely or under specific circumstances.
Common Myths & Misconceptions
- Myth: “People who are asexual don’t have relationships.”
- Reality: People who are Ace may want to and can form many types of intimate relationships, whether those relationships are romantic, platonic, or through another form of connection.
- Myth: “People who are asexual just haven’t met the right person.”
- Reality: Love doesn’t have to equal sex! You can have strong, meaningful relationships with friends or partners that don’t necessarily involve a sexual connection.
- Similar to how orgasm is not the goal of sex, sex is not always the ultimate goal in relationships.
- Myth: “People who are asexual don’t have sexual desire.”
- Reality: Asexual people may still engage in sexual activity (when the conditions are right), but it may not be driven by sexual attraction.
- Myth: “People who are asexual don’t like intimacy.”
- Reality: Romantic relationships can thrive without sex involved. Touch, cuddling, shared hobbies, and emotional closeness are all ways that individuals can explore the beauty of non-sexual pleasure and intimacy.
- Remember: Intimacy is More than Sex, and massages don’t have to be sexualized – especially when using our Oh!Nectar Massage Oil.
- You know what else is sexy? A nice, relaxing bubble bath – make it extra special by adding our Soaking Sands Bath Shot
Understanding Asexuality
While asexuality may not always be visible in the media or everyday conversations, increasing awareness and understanding is essential. The LGBTQIA+ community proudly includes Aces of all identities, reminding us that there’s no single way to experience or express attraction. People who identify as asexual are not “broken” – their experiences are valid, whole, and worthy of respect. By honoring the boundaries and preferences of all individuals and engaging in open, compassionate communication, we can all help create a world where every form of sexuality is understood, valued, and celebrated.
EngErotics’ Product mentions:
Soaking Sands Bath Shot: https://engerotics.com/product/soaking-sand-bath-shots/
Oh!Nectar Massage Oil: https://engerotics.com/product/oh-nectar/
Previous Blog mentions:
Our Guide to Pride!!: https://engerotics.com/our-guide-to-pride/
Orgasm is Not the Goal of Sex: https://engerotics.com/orgasm-is-not-the-goal/
Intimacy is More than Sex: https://www.engerotics.com/intimacy/intimacy-is-more-than-sex/
Resources:
The Genderbread Person: https://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2018/10/the-genderbread-person-v4/
